triumphantrider
Member
- Local time
- Today, 16:38
- Joined
- May 21, 2024
- Messages
- 43
- Points
- 7
- Age
- 35
- Location
- Australia
- First Name
- Peter
- My Ride
- Triumph Street Twin 900
- Riding Since
- 2013
I certainly do know that, Sir. But with OCD + Bipolar, it kinda personally just gives me an unsatisfied or unsettling feeling. Besides, living with the leak for me, in principal, in terms of the bigger picture, is beyond the point. The fact of the matter is it shouldn't be leaking at all, from anywhere with less than 7000 km's on it and particularly not from that area.OK, I get it. When I was working for a living I lived out in the sticks and did almost all the maintenance on all my equipment including a 1941 Farmall H tractor. That thing was originally designed to run on distallate (basically kerosene) and my shop wall had a fair number of tools bounce off it as a result of one breakdown or another and the lack of parts availability. I was fortunate though, there was a semi local (about 15 miles away) tractor mechanic that was intimately familiar with my tractor (I think he was born before WW I) that gave free advice and even rebuilt my transmission when the bearings went out. He even converted it to a 12 volt coil vice the 6 volt magneto it was born with.
You know you can still ride the bike with the oil leaks and just top up before a ride, it's not the only solution but is the least frustrating, i.e. do nothing and just live with the mess it makes. Kinda like owning an old Harley, put kitty litter down cuz it's gonna make a mess on the floor.
Plus my wife nearly went ass over head slipping on where it leaked. And yeah I did put cardboard under the bike to prevent that from happening again...but once again, it's beyond the point.
Imagine feeling like time after time you are constantly either hearing or seeing bad news (whether in or outside of work, in or outside of your personal life, with motorbike faults/issues, etc)...anything in general, and then they keep being constant, building up...then you mix that with Bipolar + OCD, mixed with feeling like it's you against the world, or God or some sort of higher power has it in for you...then it's quite difficult to not be angry and frustrated.
When I get angry, due to my Bipolar, the problem either HAS to get fixed in the shortest amount of time possible so that my mind becomes free of said issue OR I have to see and invoke destruction of some sort to feel better, to let it out. The thing is I choose the lesser of 2 evils...I take it out on my property and objects that are mine, instead of hurting people or anyone or anything that is a living being. We're all human, we all have a cracking point, it's just for some that threshold is much higher and their luck may be slightly better too. I'm just at that threshold right now...and the more that people "chime in" without actually contributing anything significant to the topic such as something that may go a long way to actually fixing or solving the issue, not sweeping the issue under the rug so to speak...then that threshold then goes into overdrive...like being at the red line...for an extended period of time.
I've given constant warnings, I've been forthcoming about my frustrations, I've done my part...I don't think it's unreasonable of me to want people or "fate" or "luck" to do their part or for things to balance out and start going my way.
And perhaps only those with Bipolar and constant bad luck can understand that, but that's how it is, at least for me...and I try and try and try soooo hard to keep my frustration and emotions in check and to do the right things...but when things keep stacking up and your Bipolar and patience is continually being tested...then of course it's going to start showing.
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